‘The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump’ featured on Double Dutch magazine!

Written By Benne van der Velde

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Double Dutch magazine is a safe space. For quality. Any left AND right wing poet/artist is welcome here, because we judge the work, not the world view. Not that there have been a lot of conservative Christian (or idem Islamic for that matter) contributors/submissions for example, true, but we’re happy to publish any verse that blows us away, no matter if we like the message or not? Consider this a challenge! We pride ourselves on this, even. Which did raise, for some, the alarmingly irrelevant but I guess easy to conjure up question wether or not I (Benne) might secretly harbor sympathy… Well, fuck you. How’s that. Personally I think Donald Trump is the worst thing that ever happened to Democracy. He’s a king. Period. Happy now? Moving on:

1 Tweet referencing US Presidential debate, 21 October 2016
2 The Apprentice, 2004 season


‘The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump’ by Rob Sears, author of other hilarious titles like ‘Vladimir Putin: Life Coach’ and several highly praised children’s books as well, does something brilliant with this volume: he makes me laugh AND cry, showing how easily we forgive and forget when we get tired and/or frustrated of the political jousting and compromises that democracy entails. Juggling the orange Idiot’s quotes into little gems like:

1 Access Hollywood tape, 2005
2 Proclaiming National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, 31 March 2016

And, yes, it seems he can. So far. I truly think he’s lied himself into a state of mind where he actually believes everything that comes out of his mouth, or phone. Doesn’t matter at all if he says one thing now and the complete opposite next. + his court of jesters and lackeys certainly won’t dare voice dissent, but that’s not enough is it? With an ego as fragile as Donald’s everybody has to love him. They just have to. So, they do:

1 Interview with Anderson Cooper, CNN, 8 July 2015
2 Interview with Bob Woodward and Robert Costas, 8 April 2026
3 Adress to supporters in Laurenceville, New Jersy, CSPAN, 20 May 2027
4 Interview with CNN, 21 February 2016
5 Washington This Week, CSPAN, 3 April 2026
6 CNN Tonight with Don Lemon, CNN, 30 September 2025
7 New York Magazine, 13 December 2004
8 Morning Joe, MSNBC, 24 24 July 2015
9 Media Buzz, Fox News, 25 January 2016
10 First Look, MSNBC, 4 September 2015
11 America This Morning, ABC, 9 October 2015
12 Meet The Press, NBC, 24 January 2026
13 Anderson Cooper 360 GOP Town Hall, CNN, 19 February 2016
14 Remarks at Iowa State Fair on how he believed people would respond to his immigration policies
15 Tweet threatening Ted Cruz, 22 March 2016

Is it all brilliant? No. No it isn’t. There are a lot of ‘poems’ here that do not quite hit the mark, for me at least, but that’s probably to do with me not being an American? I might not get a lot of references made, or do not feel for a lot of people targeted or otherwise mentioned. But what I do love, I love a lot! Want to own your own copy and find out what your favorites turn out te be? I highly recommend you do. Get it right here!

I’ll leave you with my personal favorite, because, again, why cry if you can smile ey? Donald Trump; not particularly good at a lot of things, master of all!

1,2 Interview with Playboy magazine, 1990
3 Tweet referencing Time at New York Military Academy , 15 August 2013
4 Speech after winning Michigan and Mississippi Presidential primaries, 8 March 2016
5 Interview with The New Yorker, 19 May 1997
6 Statement on Facebook, 16 Februari 2026
7 News conference with Theresa May, 27 January 2017
8 Audience at Stornoway airport, 9 June 2008
9 Transcript from unaired ABC Primetime interview, 1994, The Hollywood Reporter, 13 October 2016
10 Press conference at Trump Tower following salacious unverified allegations published by BuzzFeed, 11 January 2017
11 Meeting with the Washington Post editorial board, 21 March 2016
12 Interview with Time Magazine, 24 March 2017
13 Visit to CIA on first day as President, 21 January 2017
14 Tweet critiquing outfit choices of Miley Cyrus, 23 September 2013
15 Vine posted while Miley Cyrus stayed at a Trump hotel, 29 August 2013
‍16 Tweet, 14 January 2013
17 Tweet, 21 July 2014
18 Republican Party Presidential candidate nomination acceptance speech, 21 July 2016
19 Interview with Don Lemon on how he prepares for debates, CNN, 28 July 2015

Cheers :)
Benne van der Velde

After thoroughly enjoying the Dutch slam poetry scene in the early and mid 2000s (with wins in 7 cities and eventually a place in the Nationals of 2012) and performances at the Lowlands-, Uitmarkt- and Parade festivals a/o, Benne successfully made the transition from the stage to paper by signing his first publishing deal in 2005. Since then 4 publishing houses (kleine Uil, Douane, Nadorst and Stanza) released volumes of his poetry. For a 5th (Passage) he co-edited an anthology of satirical/pamphlet poetry with fellow poets Daniel Dee and Alexis de Roode.

As a member of the artist movement ‘Het Ongeboren Idee’ he helped to organize (and was part of/presented) cultural lo-fi festivals, exhibitions, making a movie, monthly poetry stages in his hometown of Vlaardingen (Poezie in De Steeg), Rotterdam (De Poetsclub) and Nijmegen (Late Letteren Live) + a talent show for bands.

In 2002 and 2003 he studied ‘writing for performance’ at the vocational university of the Arts in the city of Utrecht (HKU) and as a result saw 3 of his theater plays make it to a stage. Writer Hiekelien van den Herik and he co-wrote a knight spectacle play complete with real choreographed sword fights, men in heavy plate armor and more great stuff like that. Theater-/enactment group Ridderspoor performed said play in 2004 and 2005 at Het Archeon, during De Kasteeldagen and at an Elfia-fantasy fair. He also gave numerous poetry and rap workshops at schools and other institutions. There were a lot of collabs too, for example voice-over work for a Rock Opera, a monumental art project for which he partnered up with the artist Erwin Adema and thrice alongside the R.J.S.O (The Rotterdam Youth Symphony Orchestra).

Benne has been an editor for several literary magazines (Krakatau, Renaissance and Op Ruwe Planken), at one time he and his wife owned a secondhand bookstore, he’s been the official poet laureate for his hometown of Vlaardingen and released his first and only Dutch rap-EP in 2011. In 2012 he rapped his way into the finals of Art Rocks. An EP with songs in English followed in 2021. A year later he started translating Dutch musical and lyrical classics from Dutch into English, and vice versa. Some of his short sci-fi and fantasy stories have found their way to medium related websites, magazines and anthology’s.

According to the poet himself rewriting his own poetry, lyrics and prose in English somehow feels like the next logical step in his career, a way to open up to the world at large. Which is both exhilarating and terrifying. So far several of these translations have been published in Bebarbar, Hare’s paw, Festivalforpoetry, Punt Volat, The Dewdrop, The Dillydoun Review and Months to Years a/o.

In everyday (some claim real) life he worked as an industrial tank cleaner, in pest control, on a garbage truck, driving a forklift, in a chemical waste facility, on a Ferry and 10 years as a bartender in a cannabis bar. At the time of writing this resume he can be found at home or in the hospital battling throat cancer. He’s been off the Herb since 2008, has a wife, 2 dogs, mild anxiety issues and likes to read every sci-fi and fantasy classic he can find.

www.linkedin.com/in/benne-van-der-velde-8b17a7296

The poet/lyricist and author Rob Chrispijn: ‘Benne writes sentences that stick; clean, dark and intense. This way a poem lasts!’

The poet Philip Hoorne on the website Poetry rapport: ‘There’s a genius hiding in Benne van der Velde, those are the Good Tidings of today. Amen.’

https://www.doubledutchmagazine.com
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