Kristen Then
When he fucks me
it gives my parents hives.
I make sure there’s beer
baby in his crib
Russ and Chass
in the front room
with the TV on.
He tastes like cough
syrup and ash
when I hold steady so he can
jack himself up
in me. He’s
so thin, hard
as a rock, sweat
like rain wash on
mountains.
I’d say anything
to keep him
there. His hips
open wings in me
wide like ears,
Dumbo big.
When he takes
my nipples pink
in his lips, slips a finger
up my ass, spits
in my mouth, calls me bitch
these are vows.
I said he hates fags
to get him off
but he doesn’t really care
about them.
He wants me.
He needs to feel
the guitar string of my panties
in his fingers again
playing me.
My lips are
haven for him
sanctuary, like the church
we prayed in when
we were kids.
Ryan Tracy is a writer, artist, and scholar. His is currently Visiting Assistant Professor of English at Knox College. Ryan’s critical writings on literature, art, and performance have appeared in PMLA (forthcoming), Feminist Modernist Studies, Derrida Today, Arizona Quarterly, New American Notes Online, JAm It!!, The American Reader, The New York Press, The Brooklyn Rail, Mouvement (France), and Performa Magazine. Ryan’s fiction and poetry have appeared in Twin Bird Review, Feral, The Hyacinth Review, Chronogram, PANK, KGB, The Gay and Lesbian Review, The New Engagement, California Quarterly, CafeMo, and Calliope. Ryan’s first book of poetry, Tender Bottoms (Auntie Press), was released in Spring 2022.
Ryan holds a PhD in English Literature from The CUNY Graduate Center and advanced degrees in Gender Studies (Central European University) and Mannes College of Music (Composition). His scholarly work has been presented at the University of Paris, Sorbonne, Concordia University, Goldsmiths, University College London, Oxford University, Pratt Institute, and the CUNY Graduate Center, among others.
Fellowships include Yaddo, The Edward Albee Foundation, The New Museum Seminar, and Performa 09 Writing Live.