Meneer Alzheimer
Meneer Alzheimer ik wil even met u praten
Met mij gaat het nog goed, ik ben niet oud
In mijn gelei hierboven zitten nog geen gaten
Maar op een dag en dat laat mij niet koud
Ben ik dit lied allang vergeten
Dan weet ik niet wat ik vanavond zong
Maar nu wil ik daar niets van weten
Want nu ben ik nog goed en bij
En jong genoeg om even iets aan u te vragen
Mijn probleem is echt niet al te groot
Het gaat over mijn laatse dagen
Als u toeslaat zo vlak voor mijn dood
Wilt u een beetje, een beetje selecteren
Zodat ik de mooie dingen wel onthoud
Dus als ik m'n stoel zit weg te teren
Dat ik nog even mag denken aan m'n vrouw
Met wie ik zoveel jaren heb gevreeën
Met wie ik zoveel uren heb gewoond
Dat ik nog een beetje weet hoe we het deden
Omdat mijn eigen lijf me dat dan nooit meer toont
Ach ik wil best een heleboel vergeten
Ik weet zo al twaalf vrouwen op een rij
Van al zeker drie zou ik de naam al niet meer weten
En de rest verzuipt ook in die grijze brij
Er is meer dan genoeg om mee te nemen
Pak m'n angst, en m'n wanhoop en verdriet
Pak ze ik zal ze echt nooit claimen
Maar al het mooie neem dat niet
Pak m'n geld, m'n leugens en m'n ruzies
En mijn veel te vaak verongelijkte toon
Maar laat aan mij een paar illusies
En de liefde voor m'n dochter en m'n zoon
En één ding mag u zeker pakken
Daarvoor ben ik nou eenmaal veel te laf
Misschien hoor ik daarom bij de slappe zakken
Maar ik smeek u neem mij mijn doodsangst af
Zodat ik mooi en stil de wereld kan verlaten
Met een knipoog naar de mijnen zonder angst
Meneer alzheimer valt daarover te praten
Want voor doodgaan ben ik levenslang het bangst
Dus dat ik mooi en stil de wereld kan verlaten
Met een knipoog naar de mijnen zonder angst
Mneer alzheimer valt daarover te praten
Want voor doodgaan ben ik levenslang het bangst
Mr. Alzheimer’s
Mr. Alzheimer’s I would like to talk to you
I’m not that old yet and doing well
my sense of self is more or less intact I guess
but I know one day, and that’s scary as hell
I’ll have forgotten what I’m singing
or the other tunes I’ll share tonight
for now though I need to cling to winning
feeling young and strong and bright
Enough to ask you a simple, humble question
a small one I’ve no meaning to offend
It’s about my last days and some compassion
when you’ll come knocking just before the end
would you mind sifting just a little bit
let me keep some key points in my life
so that when I waste way you’ll see fit
to allow me remembering my wife
Whom I made love to for so many decades
and lived with for life times in an hour
just how she kissed me that this never fades
when I stop feeling my body in the shower
oh I really wouldn’t mind to erase a lot
thinking of twelve women easily and more
the names of five of them I forgot
and the rest can vaporize for sure
There is more than enough to take from me
take my fears, my sorrows and despair
take them, I’ll never claim them you will see
leave some loving memories please just a pair
take my fights, my money and my lying
my often condescending tone may come undone
but please leave some illusions flying
and the love for my daughters and my son
There’s just one thing I need you to take
I guess that’s the kind of coward that I am
I’ll admit my place amongst the spineless fakes
I beg you take my fear of dying if you can
so that I may leave with my head held high
with a smile for those I care about because
I need that Mr. Alzheimer’s, I won’t lie
dying scares the life right out of us
So please let me leave with my head held high?
with a smile for those I care about because
Mr. Alzheimer’s, sir, I won’t lie
dying scares the life right out of us
Translation by Benne van der Velde
Joseph Jacobus Maria "Youp" van 't Hek (born 28 February 1954) is a Dutch author, columnist, singer-songwriter, playwright, critic and former comedian. Van 't Hek was born and raised in the Gooi, an upper-class region to the southeast of Amsterdam. In 1973 he changed his name from Joep to Youp. He was one of the founding members of Cabaret NAR (Cabaret Jester). In the early 1980s, Cabaret NAR's success declined and Van 't Hek moved on as a solo artist. His big break came in 1983 on KRO's De alles is anders-show. His energetic performance made him a household name overnight.[1]
In his 1989 "oudejaarsconference" (end-of-year show), he ridiculed Buckler, a low-alcohol beer brewed by Heineken. As a result sales plummeted and the brand was eventually withdrawn from the market. Van 't Hek has often cited this as the best joke in his career and has subsequently referred to it in all his retrospective shows.[2]
In 2021, Van 't Hek announced that he would stop as a comedian in 2024, when he turned 70 and had been a comedian for 50 years. The tour of his last show started in 2021. On May 25, 2024, he gave his last performance in the Carré theater in Amsterdam.[3] On June 1, 2024, his last show was broadcast by BNNVARA, which was watched by 2.3 million people.
Van 't Hek has worked with a changing group of musicians to supply the music to the songs in his shows. The constant factor in his musical backup during almost his entire career has been Ton Scherpenzeel (keyboardist of Kayak), who has composed almost all of his songs. In most of his shows he also worked with multi-instrumentalist Rens van der Zalm. The music to Van 't Hek's songs is mostly played on piano, accordion, violin and acoustic guitar, which reflects Van 't Hek's preference for classical music. One example of this is his rendition of the song Flappie, ostensibly about a Christmas he experienced in 1961. In 2020, the song was covered by Todd Rundgren.
Van 't Hek has written columns on sports and later on general topics for NRC Handelsblad since 1988. Several collections of these columns have been published by Thomas Rap publishing. This company was founded by a friend of Van 't Hek, and has printed the texts of Van 't Hek's shows from the very first, unsuccessful days, when publishing them seemed a waste of money. Because of this, Van 't Hek never switched publishers.
Editorial note: despite Rob Chrispijn being my (Benne’s) favorite Dutch lyricist of all time, this specific plea by Mr. van ‘t Hek means the world to include in our magazine because my father used to listen to it for days on end when his dad started to fade away.
Source: Wikipedia